Since Jersey Shore exploded into our lives and exploited society’s worst notions about New Jersey, the Shore and Italian-Americans, the idea of a similar atrocity based in Boston has been bandied about. 495 Productions is finally threatening to make this reality come to fruition this fall with Southie Pride.
Having lived in Green Line land, I don’t know much about Southie, save for the St. Patrick’s Day parade and a random trip to the beach last summer. I imagine most of the country thinks it’s exactly the way Ben and Matt portrayed in Good Will Hunting. It’s not, but this new show will likely extrapolate on that, add some crazy, and create the next reality show sensation. Seaside Heights had very little recognition among people from outside the NY/NJ area before Snooki and the Sitch so most of America learned about the Jersey Shore on Thursday nights at 10. Southie Pride will likely pile Boston stereotype on top of Boston stereotype.
If this follows something similar to Jersey Shore’s trajectory, the cast will be largely ignored and left alone as they film the first season. When it airs, they’ll become overnight sensations and pandemonium will ensue during second season filming. During the second season, they’ll try to be as over-the-top as possible to live up to expectations of their “fans.” The production company will try mightily to keep it as “real” as it was in the very first season and will try (and fail) to keep things fresh by exporting them to different locations (see Miami and Florence). They’ll add new cast members and eventually create spin-offs. Meanwhile, people with no discernible skills beyond blacking out and bed-hopping become millionaires. Sigh.
You can expect the following thought processes as your ‘hood is served up as entertainment for the rest of the world: “I can’t believe this is on TV. No one from here is really like that. Well, maybe they should make a show about us and then people will understand the real thing. Of course I don’t really want to be on TV. That’s silly. Wait, they make how much? Let’s go find them when they film it will be funny. Ugh, no let’s not. That’s for losers. You mean maybe we can be in a background shot?? OK, let’s try it, but only if we’re drunk first. Well, I can tell you one thing – I’m not watching when it airs. It’s on tonight? OK, let’s watch it, but only if we can drink during it. Next week, we should make a game. OMG LOOK AT THE TV – THAT’S WHERE WE HANG OUT!!!!!”
This cycle will repeat itself just about every week. It sucks, but it gives you good conversation fodder for parties. I routinely tell people that Snooki got rocked in the face in the first season at my favorite bar in the world. I’m not sure they find this interesting or not, but it’s good for breaking up awkward silences. Why the Beachcomber feels the need to host their shenanigans is beyond me, but I’m grateful that it has yet to be overtaken by fist-pumping.
America's favorite guids at Jessica's favorite bar.
